


i'm mr. loverman

by onewaytrigger



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Hurt No Comfort, I guess there is some comfort, I'm very sorry, also there's no gross stuff, amity is 19 but thats not superrrr important to the story, amity is a sad gay, amity is incapable of moving on, but it's mostly hurt, i actually dont know how to tag but i'm sure these tags are telling you enough, i never kinned a bitch harder, i wrote this on a sugar high at three in the morning, idk how i made this so long, someone give amity a hug and a warm cup of hot chocolate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 15:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26630125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewaytrigger/pseuds/onewaytrigger
Summary: “It’s time to move on, Amity,” she whispered to herself, voluntarily letting her palm drop from the cheek of the lifeless statue that still seemed to have so much life in it.
Relationships: Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, side vinira but its not really present
Comments: 17
Kudos: 165





	i'm mr. loverman

**Author's Note:**

> HI IM BACK WITH YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED CHARACTER GRIEVING FIC
> 
> wanted to note that while the tags say major character death and from the tags u can assume who "died," nobody in this fic actually dies. i wanted to mark it with major character death because there are a lot of ELEMENTS of that in this fic, but luz isn't dead dw
> 
> i miiiiiiiight make a chapter two. no promises. i'm thinking about it.
> 
> anyways enjoy! emira and amity would have a closer sibling bond when they're older and i'll die on that hill

Dull colors and repeated days, conversations short and snappy, the faded paint on the statue near the middle of Bonesborough; none of these important, but not lost on her.

Her golden eyes, much less golden than when she was a child, scanned over the monument carved from wood of the Grom Tree, the paint chipped slightly in some places, but the wood still smooth. Her ponytail bounced as she walked towards it, letting her fingers drag across the cheek of the wooden human, a smile on the face of the still statue, cheeks carefully carved to reflect what her smile looked like, as if it were real.

The grin was a stark contrast to the frown on the visitor’s face, her brows pulled into a sorrowful look, almost strained, but not quite broken.

“It’s time to move on, Amity,” she whispered to herself, voluntarily letting her palm drop from the cheek of the lifeless statue that still seemed to have so much life in it. Tears pricked at her eyes, but she had a home to return to, and responsibilities to uphold. “Time spent dwelling on the past is time wasted.” She reminded herself, almost robotically.

Turning her body away, but not her mind, she began her walk home. For the nineteen years that Amity had lived, she’d never felt as weak as she did when Luz had left the Boiling Isles. The human had brought about so much change, she had taken the Isles out of the Emperor’s rule and liberated everyone. The statue of her was put up not long after she left, made from the same tree her staff was carved from, officially revealed in Bonesborough, the town she had made a name for herself in.

Amity didn’t like to speak of Luz, and some may mistake that for disdain, considering how close the two were. The truth was that Amity was still healing.

The witch was in love with Luz. Absolutely head over heels for the human. When Luz left it felt like her heart was being ripped to pieces every single time something reminded her of the Latina, whether it be when her favorite song is playing in a shop she’s walking by or when she smells the familiar scent of Luz’s favorite food on the boiling isles, chili not-dogs. 

Her train of thought ended abruptly as she walked onto her doorstep, twisting the knob and opening the faded green door, her shared apartment with Edric and Emira completely spotless, thanks to her. After putting down the bag of candy she’d bought from Eda (at the request of Ed) in the kitchen, she stumbled over to her room to grab a change of clothes, her favorite pajama pants and a tank top, and hopped in the shower.

When the warm water hit her back she felt herself relaxing, the droplets rolling down her body to disappear, and as they went down the drain, the tension in her muscles did too, stressful events of the day forgotten. 

After she finished up in the shower, she stepped out, wrapping a towel around her and her hair, turning towards the mirror. The steam had fogged the glass, so she reached forward to wipe some of it off, her image appearing more clearly. Amity noticed how dead tired she looked. As she stared herself in the eyes, she imagined that they were Luz’s instead, not even having the energy to mentally correct herself.

Everything in her mind was centered around Luz, everything she did, all of her studies about the human realm, all of her late nights crying alone in her bed because of the missing presence beside her, she was positively infatuated and she knew it. She did it all in the hope to one day hold that warm hand again, or maybe even put a ring around one of the fingers Luz liked to play with when she was nervous. It was all about her, and even though Amity knew she’d never see Luz again, the thoughts constantly ripped at her.

“Who knew five months with someone could make you think about them for five years?” Amity thought aloud, taken aback by the bitterness in her tone. Not bitterness towards Luz; she’d never even imagine that, but bitterness that she would never get to stare into her brown eyes again, those eyes that reminded her of chocolate, a human candy Luz had shown her once.

There it was again. Everything somehow traced back to Luz, every waking thought in her mind.

A fit of rage took over her judgement and she punched the mirror, blaming it for making her spiral like this. She glanced at herself in the shattered glass, her reflection distorted, but her sharp frown unmistakable. A slight stinging sensation radiated from her knuckles, but she ignored it, continuing to stare at her reflection. Her hopelessness hit her like a truck.

_ Luz probably forgot about you. _

With that realization her eyes widened and she stepped back, bumping into the wall of the suddenly cramped bathroom, her breath coming in shorter and faster, she was embarrassed how much a simple thought was affecting her. She slid down the wall and slumped over on the bathroom floor, bringing her knees up to her chest, and fought back sobs. 

Edric and Emira would be home soon, but it wasn’t like this was out of the ordinary for Amity. In fact this was how most of her nights went, at this point it was basically routine. She doubted that Ed and Em would be fazed. After all, it wasn’t anything they hadn’t seen before. 

She let out an almost maniacal giggle. How pathetic was she that her siblings were used to seeing her break down on the bathroom floor every night, crying over some girl who probably didn’t even remember her?

Looking up from her knees, refusing to let the tears spill over from her eyes, she stared at the cabinets that resided under the sink. There was nothing special about them. Nothing that stood out, nothing that caught her eye immediately, yet cabinets are still an integral part of a house. It was funny how much Amity reverse-related to an inanimate object. She was the polar opposite. She stood out, as a Blight, and yet, she was completely worthless. A burden, even.

Learning to accept that might be the only way to heal, and Amity was done being so hurt. Wiping away the last of her tears, she picked herself up off the bathroom floor and slowly put on her clothes, listening intently for Ed and Em, knowing it wouldn’t be long before they were home. 

It didn’t take long for the door to open and the unmistakable squeakiness of Edric’s laughter to carry across the apartment’s thin walls after Emira made a joke about their parents. 

With a resigned sigh, Amity walked towards the living room where the two were sitting on the couch, helping themselves to the candy that Amity had bought earlier. Without even saying a word she could tell her siblings were already worried about her; even though she couldn’t get a good look in the shattered mirror, she knew her eyes were red and puffy.

Wordlessly, and with an encouraging smile, Edric offered her a chocolate bar, prompting a sharp pang of sadness in Amity’s chest when the candy reminded her of Luz, but she grabbed it anyways, sitting down on the couch in the middle of the two. The twins began arguing about who had to buy groceries that week, which Amity tuned out, instead focusing on the chocolate bar.

Carefully she unwrapped the bar from its plastic holding, leaving a small piece of the wrapper on at the bottom so she didn’t get chocolate on her hands. Silently she took a bite, relishing in the sweet flavor, sighing contentedly as she slumped down a little further, putting her feet up on the coffee table.

“Mittens!” Emira shouted, mock disgust in her voice. “Get your feet off the table, you dirty mouse!”

Amity smiled at her outburst, turning towards Emira and sticking her tongue out. “Make me, you big baby. I played grudgby and you didn’t.”

She could hear Edric stifle a laugh at the jab on her left. Emira had always wanted to join the grudgby team because of the cute girls on the roster, but she could never make the cut. Clearly offended, Emira shot back, “I’m paying for this apartment and I will not hesitate to kick you out, Amity.”

“More space for your girlfriend, then,” Amity replied, smirking. A bright red blush bloomed across Emira’s pale face, and she began to reply, but Edric put a finger over her lips.

“Emmy, you lost. Don’t even try to fire back, you’ll just embarrass yourself,” Edric laughed, pulling his hand away from his twin’s face to reach for another Jolly Rancher. 

“Fine. But we’re not dating,” Emira conceded, frowning at Amity.

“You keep telling yourself that and you might actually believe it,” Amity replied, the shit-eating grin on her face masking how much she was hurt as she was reminded of herself in Emira’s situation with Viney. 

Edric beamed from ear-to-ear. “She totally has you pinned right now, Em. Lower your defenses, your army has been compromised!”

His twin sister just rolled her eyes and lifted herself off of the couch. “Well anyways, I better head to bed. Busy day at work tomorrow and it’s already late.” She paused to ruffle Amity’s hair. “Any nightmares tonight you let me know, okay?” 

“Okay,” Amity grumbled in agreement. She hated being treated like a child, but Emira was right; she had frequent nightmares about Luz and both her siblings knew that. Still, it stung a little bit to be seen as lesser from people who were only two years older than her.

Edric got up as well, flashing finger guns to Amity as he walked into his bedroom, making a little “pew” sound as he shut the door, and then Amity was alone with her thoughts.

She grabbed her blanket from the other side of the couch. Blights were a rich family, but a three-bedroom apartment was asking a little much from Odalia and Alador, so the twins settled on making the parents buy them a two-bedroom apartment, then when Amity eventually moved in she’d sleep on the couch until she got her own place.

Her situation would be seen as not ideal to a lot of people, but there was a certain comfort that Edric and Emira provided that she wouldn’t find anywhere else, so she figured sleeping on the couch was a fair payment for someone to go to when she had a panic attack after a nightmare about Luz in the middle of the night.

Sometimes Amity thought they were doing it out of pity. In her mind it was the only reasonable conclusion; why else would they volunteer to wake up at ungodly hours in the night to console Amity after a nightmare if they didn’t pity her?

Shaking herself out of her thought process, she brought the blanket over herself slowly, letting her head hit the pillow. The couch was a little small, but not uncomfortable. She turned towards the backrest and closed her eyes, letting the world of the unconscious claim her for a few hours. She would deal with her problems in the morning, she decided.

Of course, that’s not what happened.

Amity’s used to waking up in the middle of the night, soaked in a pool of her own sweat with shaky hands and teary eyes, so she’s not surprised when she has another nightmare about Luz. This time it was Luz telling her she never loved her.  _ How creative and original, dumb brain,  _ Amity thought sarcastically, the voice in her head taking on a sour tone.

She wants to go to Emira’s room, but her sister has a busy day tomorrow and she needs her rest. She would go to Edric, but Ed didn’t really understand her like Em did. He could be comforting in his own way, she supposed, pulling the covers back over herself to prepare for another night of restless sleep.

When she woke again, it was to the sound of Ed and Em arguing in the kitchen about some donut, and she had a killer headache, so she groaned and tried to cover her ears with a pillow. 

All in all, things were okay.

Amity didn’t know when, or if, she’d ever feel the same after Luz. The broken promise of a reunital constantly tore at her heart, because she had no way of knowing if Luz was even okay. She remembers waiting outside every day for months, just waiting for Luz to return, like she said she would.

  
Eventually her head moved on, but her heart never did. She could never truly feel free from the grasp Luz had on her mind, but with her siblings, Willow, and Gus, the world would always seem a little brighter. 

_ It could be worse,  _ she decided, letting her eyes close again, softly slipping away from consciousness.

_ Yeah. It could definitely be worse. _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> edit because i forgot to say something?? anyways follow me on twitter @adhdamity i like to post about writing and adhd and maybe toh................... yknow ! occasionally! /s
> 
> thank u for reading this fic means a lot to me and i genuinely appreciate it


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